It's okay to...
- Really want to start blogging again, but not be sure where to start. What do I want to write about? Weight loss? Being a special needs mom? Book reviews? Girl Scouts? All of the above? All of the above sounds about right.
- Wish I knew how to decorate my house.
- Be so, so thankful I only have to do the pick-up/drop off line 16 more times.
- to only be okay with three (four?) things.
Head to Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay!
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
I'm heading in the right direction and finally broke through my tiny plateau that held me at 202-03 for so long.
I go see my surgeon tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous. Looking over my weight-loss logs, I realized I've only lost 10 pounds in the last three months. At first I was so disappointed. But I did some research and I'm actually right on track with the standard weight loss with a lapband.
It's hard to remember that I'm not just a number on the scale or point on the BMI chart. So here are some recent successes:
- I can run 1/4 of a mile without stopping.
- I stopped eating a chicken sandwich because it was gross. Before I would have just continued to eat it just to be eating SOMETHING.
- My daughter was SO PROUD of herself because she rode her bike a mile while I ran. She was so impressed with herself that she KEPT RIDING to push herself! This was huge. Just a few weeks ago she was afraid to ride her bike. I can't help but take a little credit for that.
A while ago, I had a job I hated. Everyday I would drive to work and listen to Zig Ziglar to pump myself full of positive thoughts to get through the day. While I'm definitely not in that toxic place anymore, I still am extremely susceptible to "stinkin' thinkin'" This week my goal is to seek out positive things to fill my mind with.
Some people find them hokey, but they are like oxygen to me! Bring on the cheese!
at 9:52 AM
Thursday, July 16, 2015
My body appears to enjoy this 202-203 dance, so I'm going to learn to accept it for now. I will not always be at this weight. But obsessing over 2 lbs is making me crazy and frankly a waste of my energy. I really believe that as long as I'm doing my part, I will eventually move past this.
This past week, I've started re-visiting things I did before surgery to get back in that same determined mindset. One book I find myself reading over and over is Bandwagon by Jean McMillan. Lately I've been reading Section 3. Jean does such an excellent job of breaking down the "rules"and it's been a great refresher on what I need to do to work with the lapband for success. I'd strongly recommend this book for anyone considering Lapband! It's been a great source of information for me.
Until next time!
at 4:37 PM
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Huh. Well, this isn't what I wanted to see. I'm up 1.6 lbs, but - yet again - I can't say it's a surprise. My lap band may prevent me from overeating most things, but it certainly doesn't prevent me from eating stuff that I know I should limit. And lately I've had loads of sugar. Ice cream slides through the band quite easily.
While writing my paper on ways to increase positive self-efficacy in students, I had a light bulb moment. I don't think I've made it any secret that I don't believe I can lose weight. My belief in my abilities pretty much sucks. If I don't believe I can do it, why should I try? One of they ways to increase learning in a classroom is to set up challenging opportunities for a student to succeed. Once they believe they can do hard things, they are willing to keep trying. Am I setting myself up for success?
I am horrible about setting myself up for failure. Just last week I started doing the C25K workout - which I love! But I decided to up my game and do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - which I also love! - on my off days.
It was exhilarating!
For about 5 days.
Then I hurt my back and have not done any type of workout since last Friday. I threw myself into this new workout regime headfirst with the best intentions, but was ultimately setting myself up to fail. My body is not used to that much activity! One day, I will be able to do it. For now, I need to start a bit slower. I need to create challenging opportunities for me to succeed.
So I'm focusing on the C25K workout. I'll do some strength building on my off days, but Jillian will just have to wait a bit longer for me.
And finding better alternatives to Dairy Queen. My waistline and wallet will thank me for that!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
I'm posting the pics from last week and this week to show two things:
- I do take a picture every Wednesday.
- I'm down 1.8 lbs. Yay!
One thing I've learned about myself recently is that I can be an extremely anxious person. (Anyone who has had the pleasure of sitting next to me knows I have that annoying habit of constantly shaking my leg. Part Restless Leg Syndrome, part anxiety!) Lately it has gotten a lot worse and my mind has been a whirlwind of worry and stress. I hate it! I could not figure out what had changed, Why am I suddenly this giant ball of stress?
I really think it's because before, when I would get anxious or stressed, I would eat. It wasn't a surprise that I used food to self-medicate. I knew that part. I was just surprised at how well it worked! Since I can no longer stuff my face whenever I start to feel anxious, I'm left to just deal with it. And I don't know how to do that. But I'm learning!
What do you do to de-stress?
Monday, June 22, 2015
I have stopped posting my weigh-ins. Have you noticed? I could wax on about how busy I am, etc. etc. and that would be true.
But let's be honest here. It ain't all because I'm busy. (you probably guessed as much!)
The truth is that I'm stuck. I still weigh in every Wednesday. Still take pictures of the scale to document it. But I've been hovering between 205 and 202 for about a month. And I'm frustrated.
Even at the 'high' 205, that still means I've lost 40 pounds - which is amazing! BUT I haven't plateued. There is no big mystery as to why I'm not losing more weight. I haven't been putting the effort in because I'M SCARED.
In the weight loss world, getting under 200 lbs is a big deal. It's often referred to as "onederland". And I have dreamed of meeting this goal for a very long time. I distinctly remember when I first hit over 200 lbs. It was right after my honeymoon almost 12 years ago. What a happy time, right? Get married, have a great vacation, then come back to find you've hit a not-so-great milestone.
At the time, I remember thinking, "I will never be bigger than 210."
And then I was.
"I'll never be bigger than 225."
And then I was.
You see where I'm going with this.
Now that this "onederland" is hovering right in front of me, right within my reach, I'm really scared to get there. I've been trying to put my finger on exactly why. I'm 99% sure it's because I'm so afraid that if I'm successful, it's just delaying the inevitable. I always have in the past. I'm always waiting for that second shoe to drop and for the scale to inch it's way right back up to where it was.
So I've taken some time to really think it through. This time is different. I've taken major steps to make SURE it's different this time. And even if by some chance I DO gain some back....it's still okay. But I can't focus on that. I cannot allow myself to be consumed with the negative 'what ifs' because it completely blocks my view of the amazing things to come.
My weight this morning was 202.8. I do not want to see that number ever again. I'm getting my focus back and working to meet three goals everyday - take 12,000 steps (which can't be done without some kind of focused exercise), drink my 64 oz of water and getting in my 60 grams of protein each day.
This is where you come in. I could really use a cheering section. I can't do this alone! See a motivational saying? Send it to me! Find a protein-rich recipe? Send it to me! Hold me accountable and help me push myself. Thank you. :)
(You can find me on Facebook, Pinterest, or email me at themightybethany @ outlook.com)
at 3:31 PM