What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Awful things happen to good people sometimes. As a friend, it can be hard to know how to react when these things happen to someone you care about. When someone's world is shaken, here are a few ways to help out.

• Be a Chef - A lovely group of my friends got together and organized dinners for us. To be honest, I felt weird having people cook for me, but it was one of the best things that anyone could have done for us. It took so many little worries off my mind (What am I making for dinner? What do I even have in the fridge? When can I get to the grocery store?), saved my family from eating just cereal for weeks straight and made me feel loved. These women have families and stresses all of thieir own but took the time to make sure my family was fed and made my life simpler. And for that I am very grateful!
• Be Kind - I've found that people often say things that seem to be insensitive or off-the-wall and don't even realize it. We heard comments like, "If there is something wrong with her, you'll love her just the same." (I didn't realize loving her less was an option!) and "My aunt/uncle/cousin/stepbrother/friend has a child with a shunt...he/she's blind, deaf, paralyzed, etc. but hey - he/she's alive!" (NOT HELPFUL). I tried to remember that people are trying to be comforting in their own strange way and kept my mouth shut. But this also brings me to my next point...
• Be Forgiving - On occasion, I would say or do things that were not kind. I was (am?) exhausted, worried, irritated, stressed, anxious and a million other emotions. To be frank, I was too wrapped up in myself to really consider how other people might be feeling at that point in time. Is it the best way to act? Not really. But that's reality and we all have times in our life like that. I think this is a point to remember for everyday life. When someone is rude, don't take it personally. You have no idea what they may be going through right then.
• Be Patient - We have had so many offers of assistance and are thankful for each and every one. We haven't taken many people up on their offers, but it's nice to know that they are there. If you decide to offer help to someone, let them know there is no expiration date. They may have things under control for a while, but it's easy for things to spin out of control.
• Be Supportive - I was overwhelmed with the support we received when our adventure with Grace began. It made things easier knowing that we were not in this alone and that so many people cared. Offer to pray for or even with the family. If you aren't spiritual, a kind word and just letting you know you are thinking of them can mean so much.