Why Glee Didn't Make Yesterdays Post

I used to love Glee, but this season is leaving me thinking, "What the heck happened?" Here are the reasons Glee didn't make my list of favorite shows yesterday:

1.) Unnecessary 'lesbian' kisses - Last week when Brittany and Santana were shown making out I nearly jumped out of my skin. I felt that scene was very uncalled for and almost crude for Glee's 8:00 time slot. I adore Kurt and think his character's lifestyle has a valuable place on the show.  But showing a lesbian kiss just for the heck of it was distasteful. It didn't have any real purpose in the storyline, was clearly done for ratings and really disappointed me.

2.) The "Assignments" - I miss the times in Glee where the music was part of the character's thought process - not an assignment from Mr. Shu. Scenes like Rachel singing "Take A Bow", Artie's "Dancing With Myself", Mercedes' "Bust Your Windows" and Kurt's version of "Rose's Turn" were important plot lines and very personal for the characters, not just a way to squeeze a song into the show. And PLEASE don't even get me started on the Britney Spears episode. What. The. Heck.

3.) It's the little things - Sue Sylvester has gone from delightfully mean to just crazy. The back and forth between Sue and Will was one of the best parts, but Sue has lost her edge. I understand that Puck's the 'bad boy', but stealing an ATM? Seems pretty serious, even for him. I hate Rachel's bangs. Why do the Cheerio's wear their uniforms ALL THE TIME? Quinn wears her uniform on her date to Breadstix. Really? You're going to wear a cheerleading uniform to a restaurant? Small things, but all together they just irritate me.

I REALLY hope they turn it around and start making the show fun again!

Hush, Mommy's Watching Her Stories

  Cartoons monopolize my television. If I want to watch MY shows I either have to a.) struggle to hear over my kid's attempts to distract me or b.) struggle to stay awake because the show is on after 8:30. My DVR has become my best friend. And even though I'm suffering from severe sleep deprivation, my late night feedings with Grace has become one of my favorite times. She's the perfect TV partner - she doesn't talk, doesn't try to change the channel, and is an expert snuggler. Here are a few of our favorite shows to watch:

1.) Hoarders
It's like a revolting car wreck that you want to look away from but you just can't. With dead cats.

2.) Mike & Molly 
 I really looked forward to this show when I heard about it because it has one of my favorite actresses Melissa McCarthy (Sookie from Gilmore Girls). I was afraid it would be cheesy and lame, but it's actually really funny and charming.

3.) The Middle
Funny and a nice 'real' look at family. And it's set in Indiana!

4.) Modern Family
Hilarious. I tried to pick a favorite character in this show and I just love them all! 

What are some of your favorite shows? Do you also watch Hoarders and then clean your house like crazy?

My Own Worst Enemy

   She was young, probably about 16, blond, out with friends, and I was about to climb over two booths at IHOP to shove her pancakes where the sun doesn't shine. Why? She was staring at my baby, talking about her with her friends and motioning to her with a jut of her chin. And it ticked me off.
   Gracie's hair is s-l-o-w-l-y growing back from her surgery. Her rainbow shaped scar is faint, but still noticeable. Since her head is so small, you can see the outline of the shunt.
   I want to be proud of her scar. To leave it uncovered and have it seen as a badge of honor. Something that says, "Look at how tiny my baby is! And she's had major surgery on her brain. Isn't she amazing?" And a big part of me does feel that way. I can't believe all that she's been through and her life has barely begun.

Grace - two days after surgery.

But I'm also self-conscious about it. I want people to look at Grace and think, "Aww, she's so cute!" not, "Hey, what's wrong with that baby?".  I feel like when people hear "hydrocephalus" they automatically think, "Oh water on the brain. Poor girl. She'll be slow. Won't be normal." 

   Maybe no one thinks that. Maybe I'm just bringing my own insecurities and putting them on her. I'm so afraid that because of her 'condition', people will judge her without giving her a chance. And it turns out that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm getting defensive over something that I have no reason to be defensive about.

Gracie - a few days after having the stitches removed.

 I pray that as she grows I gain the ability to get over myself. That I raise her to know that she is strong, smart and capable of anything. That someday when she's being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, an Oscar, or Heisman Trophy she can stand up and say, "I never knew I was suppose to have limitations. No one ever told me."

Grace today. 10/20/2010

One Song Wednesday

Happy Birthday to ME!

Three awesome decades...I think it will just get better from here.

Ending of an era and a turning of a page...

Lord have mercy on my next 30 years!

Delivering Grace

{Delivering Grace was such a completely different experience than having my other two. I had never imagined myself having a ceserean, so I never even looked at any info on it. I'm going to write out my 'birth story' in a few posts so I can record everything I remember and give you an insight as to what it was like. If you aren't interested, I won't be offended. Just skip this post and I promise to write about other things soon. }

The night before, I could not sleep. Anxiety about everything kept my adrenaline flowing. After a few brief hours of sleep, I got up, showered and carefully did my hair and makeup. I already felt like I had very little control over everything that would be happening that day. The one thing I COULD control was how I looked - and I wanted to make sure I looked good.

The ride to the hospital was pretty quiet. We arrived (late - as is typical with us) and checked in. I was really amazed at how fast everything went from that point. We were whisked away to a room where I was told to undress and put on the fancy hospital gown. It didn't dawn on me then that this gown would be the one I wore (at least halfway anyway) during my first major surgery. Once settled into the hospital bed, two very sweet nurses began a flurry of activity around me - asking me questions, starting my IV, hooking me up to monitors. They handed Jeff a set of scrubs, told him they would be back to get him and started wheeling me down the hallway.

I remember laying on the bed, watching the ceiling tiles go by and thinking it was like a scene from "ER" or some other hospital drama. They wheeled me into a very bright, very white room. The anesthesiologist was there and started explaining the spinal to me. I tried to listen to him, but all I could think was "Please let it work. Please let it work." I was terrified of being one of those strange cases that you see on TLC where the anesthesia doesn't work and you feel EVERYTHING. So I sat on the side of the bed, hugging one of the sweet nurses so that my spine would curve just right and prayed. Thankfully the very worst pain of the whole procedure was the numbing shots. A few deep breaths and a couple of pinches later and the spinal was in. Like ninjas, the two nurses swung my legs back on the table at lightening speed and made me lay down. The spinal worked very quickly and within seconds I was paralyzed from the chest down. It was so weird to not be able to wiggle your toes.

The doctor came in and announced they were ready to start. Suddenly, in a room full of people, I felt very alone.

One Word (Sentence) Wednesday

You're doing it wrong.

(Yes, that is a piece from my breastpump. No, it hadn't been used yet. Just came out of the packaging.) :-p

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Awful things happen to good people sometimes. As a friend, it can be hard to know how to react when these things happen to someone you care about. When someone's world is shaken, here are a few ways to help out.

• Be a Chef - A lovely group of my friends got together and organized dinners for us. To be honest, I felt weird having people cook for me, but it was one of the best things that anyone could have done for us. It took so many little worries off my mind (What am I making for dinner? What do I even have in the fridge? When can I get to the grocery store?), saved my family from eating just cereal for weeks straight and made me feel loved. These women have families and stresses all of thieir own but took the time to make sure my family was fed and made my life simpler. And for that I am very grateful!
• Be Kind - I've found that people often say things that seem to be insensitive or off-the-wall and don't even realize it. We heard comments like, "If there is something wrong with her, you'll love her just the same." (I didn't realize loving her less was an option!) and "My aunt/uncle/cousin/stepbrother/friend has a child with a shunt...he/she's blind, deaf, paralyzed, etc. but hey - he/she's alive!" (NOT HELPFUL). I tried to remember that people are trying to be comforting in their own strange way and kept my mouth shut. But this also brings me to my next point...
• Be Forgiving - On occasion, I would say or do things that were not kind. I was (am?) exhausted, worried, irritated, stressed, anxious and a million other emotions. To be frank, I was too wrapped up in myself to really consider how other people might be feeling at that point in time. Is it the best way to act? Not really. But that's reality and we all have times in our life like that. I think this is a point to remember for everyday life. When someone is rude, don't take it personally. You have no idea what they may be going through right then.
• Be Patient - We have had so many offers of assistance and are thankful for each and every one. We haven't taken many people up on their offers, but it's nice to know that they are there. If you decide to offer help to someone, let them know there is no expiration date. They may have things under control for a while, but it's easy for things to spin out of control.
• Be Supportive - I was overwhelmed with the support we received when our adventure with Grace began. It made things easier knowing that we were not in this alone and that so many people cared. Offer to pray for or even with the family. If you aren't spiritual, a kind word and just letting you know you are thinking of them can mean so much.

One Word Wednesday

Elvis.

Adjustments

After 11 long days in the NICU, Grace got to come home with us on Wednesday, 9/29. It was both a huge relief and scary bringing her home. With my other kids, I was with them pretty much 24/7 before leaving the hospital. We already knew each other and had somewhat of a routine down. With Grace, it was much harder. She was already used to someone else's routine, a different environment, and a different way of eating (she was bottle-fed breastmilk I had pumped) The adjustment period has been longer and a bit harder than I expected. She normally only sleeps if she's being held and breastfeeding is taking some extra work since she's so used to the bottle. But we're figuring it out together.

The other kids are doing well adjusting to their sister. Having three little ones has been a little challenging (that would be why I haven't posted anything for a while!). I'm learning to prioritize in a whole new way and working hard at not always putting Grace ahead of the other kids. Brenna is warming up to her new sister, but is still a little thrown off by everything.

I had long forgotten how DEMANDING newborns are! My body is quickly being forced to work on much less sleep. I just keep reminding myself that this stage does not last forever and I will be able to put coherent thoughts together again someday.

This whole experience has taught me so much and I can't wait to share some of it with you. I know that this is only the beginning of a new chapter in my family's story. I hope to start posting regularly again, but I'm sure you'll understand if that doesn't happen - right?