Thursday, April 14, 2011

Why I Love My Job


Today Riley asked me, "Do you like being a mommy?" I answered, "I love being a mommy." His reply was "Why? You have to do so much work!" Amen, brother. Amen.

I'm sure I'm mostly preaching to the choir when I say being a mom is a lot of work. It can be frustrating, hard, mind-boggling and sometimes just plain gross (who else cleans up all the boogers, poop and vomit?). I can spend day after day doing the exact same things over and over and still feel like I've accomplished nothing. Some days no one listens, every one's crabby and I'd like to just run away with the circus.

But...

There are the sleepy smiles first thing in the morning. The polite requests for more "hocklate milk". The dance parties. The smooches. Hearing them say, "please" and "thank you" without being prompted. The excitement over things like bubbles and going down the slide. The smell of baby lotion. And a gazillion other benefits.

When I watch Riley become so independent, Brenna do "ballet", or rock Gracie to sleep I think, "Please don't ever let me forget what this feels like." Because I love my job. 

I'm linking this up to "Why I..." At Vanderbilt Wife. :-)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

To Make A Short Story Long


Each time something has happened with Grace, I am overwhelmed and humbled by the prayers, love and support that pours out from our friends, family and even complete strangers. I hope that I can be the same comfort to others when they need it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

There may be some people who don't know what happened with Gracie and why she needs the attention she does. So I thought I'd start at the very beginning ("A very good place to start.." name that movie!). So here's the story...

Cutest. Baby. Ever.
I was having a routine ultrasound during my last trimester when a problem was discovered with Grace's brain. We were referred to a specialist, had another ultrasound and the problem was still there. For some reason, the ventricles in her brain were enlarged. On September 15th, I had an MRI to get a better look at her brain. On September 16th, we went into the specialist's office expecting to hear that the MRI showed nothing and it had all been a fluke. Instead we heard that our unborn baby had a severe brain bleed and would need to be born via c-section very soon to minimize the damage to her brain. On September 18, we welcomed our sweet Grace Elisabeth into the world - four weeks earlier than her original due date. We saw her briefly before she was whisked away to the NICU.


Over the eleven days Grace spent in the NICU, we learned that she had a stroke around the sixth or seventh month of my pregnancy. A stroke in utero can be caused by an infection, a serious injury (the example we were given was a baseball bat to the stomach!) or a genetic issue. Since I hadn't had an infection or injury and there was nothing found in our genetic testing, we don't know what caused her stroke. Blood clots from the stroke prevented the cerebrospinal fluid from draining properly and she was diagnosed with congenital hydrocephalus. Grace had a shunt placed at four days old to drain the excess fluid from her brain into her abdomen where her organs absorb it.  
Gracie with her patch, hanging with Hello Kitty

We were told that Grace should not have any type of mental delays, but to expect developmental delays and possible weakness on her left side. She does have some developmental delays and rarely uses her left arm/hand. She has optic nerve damage from the pressure in her brain, but we won't know how much her vision is impaired until she's 2 or 3 and can tell us what she can see. At this point we think her vision will be her biggest obstacle and the main cause of a lot of her developmental delays. (Most babies learn to roll because they see a toy they want to play with, if she can't see the toy - she has no incentive!)
Grace keeps her hand in a tight fist with her thumb tucked in between her little fingers most of the time.

We learned on Tuesday that her shunt has malfunctioned and will need to be repaired or replaced. She goes in Saturday at 2:50. The neurosurgeon will inject dye into her shunt to see where the blockage/malfunction is then perform the surgery to repair. She will definitely have an incision on her head (and have her poor little head shaved again!) and possible have an incision in her abdomen if the tubing needs replaced. She will be in the hospital for about two days.


If you are still hanging with me, thank you for reading our journey so far! I will post updates about Grace as we know more. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Worn Out


It was a bittersweet day. A long day. An emotional day, in both good and bad ways. This morning we found out Gracie's shunt is not working properly and she will need surgery. We knew this was likely. We were told to expect it. But I'm not sure anything prepares you for finding out that your tiny, baby daughter will have a major surgery. AGAIN. I just want to wave some magic wand and have all of this go away. I want her to feel good all the time and roll over and sit up and do all of the things seven (!) month old babies do. I have so much more to say on this. But I can't seem to form my words right now.

On the other hand, today was Kindergarten Round Up. Wow.  Can it be possible Riley is old enough for kindergarten? He was a little nervous at first because he didn't know anyone. But soon after we sat down in the school's gymnasium he spotted two of his friends from preschool. And met a new friend. And now I'm pretty sure my son and his buddies have a reputation with the teachers before school has even started. Once he was with his friends, it was like he was a new boy. I was so proud of him when he marched down the bleachers to head off with the teacher - not scared at all, just ready for a new adventure.

Oh! And his new friend? His mom just happens to be the nurse that took care of Gracie while she was in the NICU. We had no idea we lived just down the road from each other. Small, small world.

Tonight I'm going to count my many blessings and head to bed.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

March Madness


Today I was standing in front of the trash can holding Grace and she threw up. Some of it went on my shirt, but a good part of it went directly into the trash can.

Two points for Grace, mom with the assist.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Not On The List

Riley has had a bit of an issue with saying inappropriate things lately. Not necessarily bad, but potentially hurtful things. We expected this since he's five and has no real filter on his mouth yet. So I decided to be proactive and work on it with him. I found this program called the Character Crew that helps you discuss and develop good moral character in your kids. So we're giving it a whirl. The first one is on respect. I printed out the cute little sheet that goes over what respect is and has a list of examples of respectful actions.

Fast forward to today when Riley is teasing his sister for the 11,000 time.

Me: "Riley, do you remember that stuff we went over yesterday about respect? Do you think you are being very respectful to your sister right now?"

Riley: "But mom, that wasn't on the list."

Ugh.