Weekly Weigh-In

201 last week. ..200.4 this week.  The scale is barely moving, but honestly neither am  I!  I've gotten out of the habit of exercising. My food choices haven't been that great either. Time to get it in gear!

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

 Last week: 202.4 This week: 201

I'm heading in the right direction and finally broke through my tiny plateau that held me at 202-03 for so long. 

I go see my surgeon tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous. Looking over my weight-loss logs, I realized I've only lost 10 pounds in the last three months. At first I was so disappointed. But I did some research and I'm actually right on track with the standard weight loss with a lapband. 

It's hard to remember that I'm not just a number on the scale or point on the BMI chart. So here are some recent successes:

• I can run 1/4 of a mile without stopping. 
• I stopped eating a chicken sandwich because it was gross. Before I would have just continued to eat it just to be eating SOMETHING. 
• My daughter was SO PROUD of herself because she rode her bike a mile while I ran. She was so impressed with herself that she KEPT RIDING to push herself! This was huge. Just a few weeks ago she was afraid to ride her bike. I can't help but take a little credit for that. 

A while ago, I had a job I hated. Everyday I would drive to work and listen to Zig Ziglar to pump myself full of positive thoughts to get through the day. While I'm definitely not in that toxic place anymore, I still am extremely susceptible to "stinkin' thinkin'" This week my goal is to seek out positive things to fill my mind with. 

Some people find them hokey, but they are like oxygen to me! Bring on the cheese! 

IWTB: Just Keep Going

7-15-15

My body appears to enjoy this 202-203 dance, so I'm going to learn to accept it for now. I will not always be at this weight. But obsessing over 2 lbs is making me crazy and frankly a waste of my energy. I really believe that as long as I'm doing my part, I will eventually move past this.

This past week, I've started re-visiting things I did before surgery to get back in that same determined mindset. One book I find myself reading over and over is Bandwagon by Jean McMillan. Lately I've been reading Section 3. Jean does such an excellent job of breaking down the "rules"and it's been a great refresher on what I need to do to work with the lapband for success. I'd strongly recommend this book for anyone considering Lapband! It's been a great source of information for me. 

Until next time! 

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

Huh. Well, this isn't what I wanted to see. I'm up 1.6 lbs, but - yet again - I can't say it's a surprise. My lap band may prevent me from overeating most things, but it certainly doesn't prevent me from eating stuff that I know I should limit. And lately I've had loads of sugar. Ice cream slides through the band quite easily.

I'm currently about half-way through getting my degree in Special Education. Today I was writing a paper on classroom management, focusing on self-efficacy and motivation. Self-efficacy refers to the confidence one has in their ability. The more positive self-efficacy one has, the higher their motivation tends to be. Basically, if you believe that you can, you will. 

While writing my paper on ways to increase positive self-efficacy in students, I had a light bulb moment. I don't think I've made it any secret that I don't believe I can lose weight. My belief in my abilities pretty much sucks. If I don't believe I can do it, why should I try?  One of they ways to increase learning in a classroom is to set up challenging opportunities for a student to succeed. Once they believe they can do hard things, they are willing to keep trying. Am I setting myself up for success? 

Uh, no. 

I am horrible about setting myself up for failure. Just last week I started doing the C25K workout - which I love! But I decided to up my game and do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - which I also love! - on my off days.  

It was exhilarating! 

For about 5 days. 

Then I hurt my back and have not done any type of workout since last Friday. I threw myself into this new workout regime headfirst with the best intentions, but was ultimately setting myself up to fail. My body is not used to that much activity! One day, I will be able to do it. For now, I need to start a bit slower. I need to create challenging opportunities for me to succeed. 

So I'm focusing on the C25K workout. I'll do some strength building on my off days, but Jillian will just have to wait a bit longer for me. 

And finding better alternatives to Dairy Queen. My waistline and wallet will thank me for that!

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

 I'm posting the pics from last week and this week to show two things:

1. I do take a picture every Wednesday.
2. I'm down 1.8 lbs. Yay!

One thing I've learned about myself recently is that I can be an extremely anxious person. (Anyone who has had the pleasure of sitting next to me knows I have that annoying habit of constantly shaking my leg. Part Restless Leg Syndrome, part anxiety!) Lately it has gotten a lot worse and my mind has been a whirlwind of worry and stress. I hate it! I could not figure out what had changed, Why am I suddenly this giant ball of stress? 

I really think it's because before, when I would get anxious or stressed, I would eat. It wasn't a surprise that I used food to self-medicate. I knew that part. I was just surprised at how well it worked! Since I can no longer stuff my face whenever I start to feel anxious, I'm left to just deal with it. And I don't know how to do that. But I'm learning!  

What do you do to de-stress? 

IWTB; I Need Your Help

I have stopped posting my weigh-ins. Have you noticed? I could wax on about how busy I am, etc. etc. and that would be true.

But let's be honest here. It ain't all because I'm busy. (you probably guessed as much!)

The truth is that I'm stuck. I still weigh in every Wednesday. Still take pictures of the scale to document it. But I've been hovering between 205 and 202 for about a month. And I'm frustrated.

Even at the 'high' 205, that still means I've lost 40 pounds - which is amazing! BUT I haven't plateued. There is no big mystery as to why I'm not losing more weight. I haven't been putting the effort in because I'M SCARED.

In the weight loss world, getting under 200 lbs is a big deal. It's often referred to as "onederland". And I have dreamed of meeting this goal for a very long time. I distinctly remember when I first hit over 200 lbs. It was right after my honeymoon almost 12 years ago. What a happy time, right? Get married, have a great vacation, then come back to find you've hit a not-so-great milestone.

At the time, I remember thinking, "I will never be bigger than 210."

And then I was.

"I'll never be bigger than 225."

And then I was.

You see where I'm going with this.

Now that this "onederland" is hovering right in front of me, right within my reach, I'm really scared to get there. I've been trying to put my finger on exactly why. I'm 99% sure it's because I'm so afraid that if I'm successful, it's just delaying the inevitable. I always have in the past. I'm always waiting for that second shoe to drop and for the scale to inch it's way right back up to where it was.

So I've taken some time to really think it through. This time is different. I've taken major steps to make SURE it's different this time. And even if by some chance I DO gain some back....it's still okay. But I can't focus on that. I cannot allow myself to be consumed with the negative 'what ifs' because it completely blocks my view of the amazing things to come.

My weight this morning was 202.8. I do not want to see that number ever again. I'm getting my focus back and working to meet three goals everyday - take 12,000 steps (which can't be done without some kind of focused exercise), drink my 64 oz of water and getting in my 60 grams of protein each day.

This is where you come in. I could really use a cheering section. I can't do this alone! See a motivational saying? Send it to me! Find a protein-rich recipe? Send it to me! Hold me accountable and help me push myself. Thank you. :)

(You can find me on Facebook, Pinterest, or email me at themightybethany @ outlook.com)

IWTB: Weigh In Wednesday

Someday I will write posts about what I eat, how I exercise, how the band has changed me, etc. Today is not that day. :)

I remembered to snap a picture of the scales this morning, but then completely forgot about posting it. Until now! I keep thinking that as my kids get older, I will be less and less busy. But I'm finding the opposite is true. They get older and busier - I get older and busier.

Anyway!

 I'm still hanging in there. Focusing on what I SHOULD eat and not on what I can't. Moving more. Drinking water. And it's working!

Down 2 lbs exactly from last week. A total of 39.3 since before surgery. Feels pretty good!

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

I saw my surgeon last week and he was very happy with my progress. We agreed that my band is at a good level for now and I won't have to see him again for 3 months. WOOHOO! Bring on the cookies!!

I'm joking!! I lost 8 pounds in the month between my last two appointments and there is no reason I can't keep that going. I set the bar a bit higher and am shooting to lose 30 lbs between now and my next appointment at the end of July.

So where do I stand today?? Drum roll please....

I've lost another 1.8 lbs and I have no intentions of finding it again. :)

IWTB: Wednesday Weigh-In

Very slowly, but surely - another .4 pounds gone forever! (Does it drive anyone else nuts that the scale doesn't line up with the lines on our linoleum? I noticed right after I took the picture, but I was not about to step on it again!) 

IWTB: Accountability is Key!

When I first started considering gastric banding, I scoured the internet for information. I read articles, watched YouTube videos and subscribed to tons of blogs. One of the blogs that I love and still follow is Lap Band Gal. (You can find her on Facebook here!) She is a lap band success story, losing 116 lbs and maintaining that loss since 2010! Maintenance is a big thing to me. I can lose the weight, but I needed to see it was possible to keep it off. And Lap Band Gal is a big inspiration to me for that reason. 

One of her secrets for success is accountability. Every Friday, she weighs herself and POSTS THE PICTURE ON FACEBOOK. Whoa. She has almost 2,500 people that see her weight every week! Very brave in my book! And very smart. So I even though I'm not at my goal weight yet, I still want to document the process. I'm going to try and post my scale picture every Wednesday - the day I weigh myself. 

I know you're saying, "But wait Mighty B! It's Thursday!" I KNOW. See, there is this little (ginormous) thing called SHAME. Shame is a powerful bitch.  I wrestled with the idea of posting this all day yesterday. Having people know I weigh this much is a humiliating thought. Am I ashamed that I allowed myself to get to this weight? YES. But you know what? I'm actively doing something about this. And this is the lowest I have weighed in almost ten years. That's a big freaking deal, So I'm owning my story and I'm going to overcome my shame with action, humor, love and honesty. And maybe some puppies and rainbows thrown in too.

Here is my weight as of 4/15/15. I'm down 35.1 lbs from my pre-surgery weight! Yay me! 

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's Okay to...

One of my favorite elephants - Gerald, from Mo Willem's Elephant and Piggie books.

• Start fresh...new name, new design....same ol' Mighty B. :)
• Save your place in a fitness magazine with an article about chicken wings you've torn from a food magazine. 

• Think, "I really should find a way to store my books. Maybe I can look it up on Pinterest." And then realize there are these magical things called BOOKSHELVES that have been around since the dawn of time. (It looks like I'm not the only one who shuns regular, old bookshelves! Thanks Buzzfeed!)
• Be cynical when it comes to "fitness" pictures. If you put a dowdy "Before" pic right next to a professional, obviously posed "After" pic, I'm not going to believe whatever miracle drug you're promoting. Show me YOU in the same lighting, same clothes, same pose and let me see real results. Anyone can look like a supermodel with enough primping. 

Hop over to Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay! 

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's Okay to...

• not like Nutella. I'm weird, right? I just don't really care for the stuff!
• have turquoise tinted hands because you forgot to wear gloves when you were finishing up the shirts you tie dyed with the kids. 
• to be completely ruined by Amazon. Now when I shop online and it takes longer than two days to even ship I get frustrated. Two days?! It should be on my porch by now!
• to get serious about Girl Scouts. I started planning and doing the meetings for Brenna's Daisy troop a while ago, and have held back. I have a terrible habit of jumping full force into something and overwhelming everyone else with my enthusiasm. But then I saw this in the news...

Source.

6 & 7 year olds inventing! Being encouraged to be curious! Thinking of how they can make a difference! I love it. It's about to get real in the elementary cafeteria.

Excuse me while I go call Bear Grylls and invite him to be our next guest speaker.

Find out what else is okay at Airing My Dirty Laundry!

IWTB: Second Fill was the Key!

After staying at the same weight for months, I FINALLY have started losing weight again. What's my "secret" - I got another fill in my lapband! 

A gastric band is different from other weight loss surgeries in that it requires follow up. If I had gone in on October 8th, had the surgery and did NOTHING else, the lapband would not work.

So what is a fill? 

source

A fill is when the surgeon (some offices allow their nurses to do fills, my surgeon does his) injects saline into the port. The saline expands the band, tightening it around the stomach and creating a narrower passage way for the food to travel through. 

My surgeon (Dr. Knapp) does his at the surgery center where I had the procedure done so he can view the whole thing via x-ray. A nurse walks me back to the operating room in my lovely paper gown and I sit on the table, reclined just a bit. Dr. Knapp finds the port with the x-ray machine gives me a quick warning, then sticks the needle through my stomach into my port. (It doesn't feel much different than getting a shot, but it is weird to see a syringe sticking out of my stomach for the next few minutes.) He then removes all of the fluid from my band to make sure it is all still there and has not been leaking. Once he's made sure it is all still there, he injects new saline into my port. 

I take a few swallows of barium (YUM!) to make sure the band isn't too tight, then I'm on my way! It's very quick, easy and pretty painless. 

For two days after a fill, I am on liquids only to allow everything to adjust. Once I start solid foods, I measure out 1/2 cup, take tiny bites, chew like crazy and eat s-l-o-w-l-y. Before my fill, I was still able to down large quantities pretty quickly. With a tighter band, I'm noticing a BIG difference. Now when I eat too fast, eat something with a bread-like texture or take too big of a bite, it gets "stuck". I get a knot in my chest and waves of pain that last a few minutes until my stomach is able to process what I've just tried to eat. If I try to push it and eat another bite too quickly after being stuck it is extremely painful and can result in the food coming back up. (Technically it's not vomiting because the food never reached my stomach. But it's gross nonetheless!) 

If I follow the rules, eat what I'm supposed to how I'm supposed to, it's no problem. I'm being forced to learn a new way to eat - which is exactly why I chose to have gastric banding in the first place. 

It hasn't been easy getting used to the lapband actually doing it's job! But I have a renewed sense of hope that I CAN and WILL actually lose this weight. 

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's Okay to...

Just say, "NO!" source

• Not worry about goody bags for Riley's birthday party. I think I speak for all parents when I say, "Enough with the tiny, plastic crap already!" It's my son's birthday...why should everyone else get a gift?
• (On that same note) be annoyed when people bring gifts for my other kids when they attend birthday parties. 99% of the time it's the grandparents, and I know that's just what they do - spoil the grandkids! But I think it takes from the birthday child's day being special.
• really enjoy Barbie movies. So far Princess Charm School is my favorite, but A Pony Tale is pretty good too. (I'm totally serious! Don't judge!)
• Be hoping for a snow day tomorrow. It's a far-fetched hope, but right now the pain of having my kids home all day sounds better than having to put on actual pants in the morning. I just can't even. 

Check out Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay!!