Becoming a Hermit

Last week was very busy for my family! We're home-bodies, so being out and about so much was a little jarring for us. Looking forward to it slowing down just a bit for a while!

Don't bother me. Mommy's resting.

Wednesday was a whirl-wind and pretty emotional day. I had to go to the doctor's office in the morning and was diagnosed with strep throat. It was Riley's last day of preschool, so after my appointment we went to his class picnic. That was fun, but I spent a lot of it on the phone with the neurosurgeon's office. The area around Gracie's shunt was filling up with fluid again very quickly. It was very scary. After a few suggestions from the neurosurgeon, we got the fluid to go back down and made an appointment for Friday to have her seen again.

The appointment with the surgeon went well. We have to keep Gracie's head elevated above her body as much as possible and keep her headband on for another week. We go back next week to hopefully be able to take the band off!

She's been a little fussy these past few days. It's so hard to tell if it's her head bothering her or if she's teething. I think it's both! I'm so ready for her to feel 'normal' - but I suppose that's a relative term now.

I have so much more to talk about - a meeting with the School for the Blind, Riley's Preschool Graduation, Chick-Fil-A Family night with a migraine...and I know you can't wait to read it all. :) The suspense is maddening!

Refreshed

It's been a long, rough day so this will be short. (In fact I'm writing this in my bed on my phone.  Yay for technology!) 
I get morning devotional texts from our local radio station Pulse FM. Tonight I got a text that just said, "God is in control." I normally get them in the morning,  but I don't think it was any accident that I got it tonight instead. He knows how hard this is. He knows how I want to fix everything. He knows that I don't feel strong enough. He was reminding me that he's got this. He's writing Gracie's story and has amazing things planned for her,  better than I could ever imagine. I just need to let go of MY plan for her. 
Suddenly my day doesn't seem so rough after all.
More tomorrow - I promise :)

Somewhere Between Rambo and Olivia Newton John

Grace's procedure went really well yesterday. Dr. Yount (her neurosurgeon) injected dye into each part of her shunt and they are all working correctly. So she does not need surgery! He believes the "problem" is with the small hole in her skull where the shunt enters her ventricle. It's not wanting to close up, so fluid is escaping out the hole and pooling around her shunt. She'll have to wear a headband for about two weeks to keep pressure on the area to help prevent the fluid from coming out of the hole so it can close up.

During the procedure, Dr. Yount closed the door and had us wait in the seating area just outside. When everything began, we could hear Grace start crying pretty hard. Riley was so concerned, he laid down and tried to peek under the door to let Grace know he was there. Brenna started singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" (Gracie's favorite song) loudly to make sure she could hear her. Knowing your kids care so much about each other certainly does a mom's heart good. :)

I wanna get physical, physical.

At first, she HATED the headband and would scratch at it and just cry. But I think she's getting used to her new accessory. She'll go back to the neurosurgeon early next week for a follow up.

The nurse practitioner that works with Dr. Yount used to work in the NICU. She was in the unit when Grace was born and now takes extra special care of Grace through all of her procedures with Dr. Yount. We've always had such caring and compassionate medical professionals caring for Grace, but I am especially thankful for Sally. It is much easier to hand your baby over to be poked and prodded when you know that someone is there that genuinely cares about her.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. We know God has had his hand in every step of Grace's journey.

Denial Is A River in Egypt...

I should be getting ready to take Grace to the hospital. But I have two hours before I need to leave and maybe if I keep putting it off, pretending we don't have to go - everything will just disappear! Like some procrastination magic.
(In case you don't know, we are going today to have a "tap and dye" - they will inject dye into her shunt to see if there is a blockage/malfunction. If there is, she will be admitted to the hospital tonight and have another revision tomorrow. Basically we are re-living last month all over again.)

But you get to benefit from my procrastination! Lucky, lucky you.

Pros and Cons of another hospital stay:

Pro - I'll get to watch Glee fairly uninterrupted tonight.
Con - Hospital cable really leaves a lot to be desired late at night.

Pro - I'll get to sleep in a bed all by myself.
Con - That bed is a very uncomfortable recliner.

Pro - All of my meals will be brought to me and I won't have to do dishes!
Con - It's hard to get excited about hospital food.

Pro - I'll finally get some peace and quiet.
Con - It will be too quiet and I'll miss my family like crazy.

Pro - I'll get some time to with just Gracie!
Con - She'll be hooked up to things and the wires will make cuddling difficult.

Okay, I can't procrastinate any longer. I'll try to post something as soon as we know what is going on! (And hopefully it will be from my own noisy, cluttered house instead of the hospital!)

Ready, Not Ready

I am ready for Riley to be challenged by kindergarten.
I am not ready for my baby boy to start kindergarten.

I am ready to get a start on my day before the kids get up.
I am not ready to leave my cozy bed at 6AM.

I am ready to manage my family's finances better.
I am not ready to stop trolling the web for cute toddler dresses.

I am ready to burn my nursing bras.
I am not ready to stop having those quiet moments in the middle of the night when it's just me and Grace.

I am ready for Brenna to be potty trained.
I am not ready...no, actually I'm just totally ready for that!

Trying To Let Tomorrow Worry About Itself

I am so in love with those gummy smiles!

 Every time I see them, I just want to eat those chunky thighs.

The area around Gracie's shunt is still spongy and is actually looking a bit bigger (You can see the big bump on the side of her head in the above picture). We go back to the neurosurgeon tomorrow to check it. I'm preparing myself for her to have her shunt tapped. I really hope that this does not lead to another shunt revision so soon, but my husband and I are getting ready to spend another weekend in the hospital just in case.

In the morning before Gracie's appointment I will be taking Riley for his kindergarten physical.  Can he possibly be this old??

It will be a busy day full of anxiety and needles. Send a few positive thoughts my way, will ya? Thanks. :-)

Girls Can Be Superheroes

photo courtesy of mikiep - very talented artist on etsy.com

Today I picked my son up from preschool and he had on the cutest superhero mask. They had made them in class, decorating them with stickers of various cartoon superheroes. When I asked if everyone made one he said, "No. The girls made some girly thing with ribbons. They can't be superheroes."

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

He's five, so I don't know exactly what was said in class. I'm sure that it was not specifically said that "girls cannot be superheroes". But the boys made superhero masks and the girls made something frilly. I am okay with girls wanting to be princesses. I think every girl wants to feel pretty and regal and twirl around in gowns. But why not give them the option to be either a superhero or a princess? Or both?

I'm sure I'm making too much of this. I tend to do that. But I worry about my girls. I worry because they'll grow up in a society where padded bikini tops are marketed to preteens. Where a nine year old worries about the size of her thighs. Where it's more important to be good looking than to be a good person. I don't want anyone telling them they can't be a superhero. That they shouldn't be smart or speak their mind. That they have to fit a certain mold to be beautiful.

To quote Jon Acuff:

I want to send my kids into the world so full of love that the world won't be able to empty them.