SPJ: Refocus

I've been avoiding you my dear, sweet Secret Public Journal readers. I've blogged many times in my head,  but I don't want to put it out there. It's too private and melodramatic. I'm not sure exactly how to start this so I'm just going to type and see what happens.

I started this fitness journey strong. I exercised regularly, ate better and was feeling great. I expected my enthusiasm would wear off eventually and tried to prepare myself mentally so I wouldn't quit when that happened. I signed up for my first ever 5K as motivation and waited for results for my hard work and dedication.

In the three months that I've been working at this...

• I thought my skin would clear...it's gotten worse.
• I thought I would lose more weight...I'm only down 13 lbs.
• I thought I would drop more pants sizes...I'm barely down one size.

I'm discouraged and anxious and I hate my treadmill. I knew I'd hit a wall, I just didn't realize I would hit it so hard.

It's all about my focus. Right now I'm looking at what I still have to accomplish and it seems impossible. Unachievable. Hopeless. But I need to remember how far I've come. I'm at the lowest weight I've been since before Brenna was born four years ago. My usual treadmill workout is jogging two miles. Three months ago I couldn't jog for two minutes. To quote Joyce Meyer,

"I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be."

 

Time to refocus. Visit my pinterest Goals board regularly. Shake up my routine. Add new music to my playlist.  I will get there.