IWTB: This is Why

I'm down 11 pounds. My clothes are loose. I'm not stuffed full of carbs and it has made a difference in my energy level. I don't crave foods that are terrible for me. (I shared with a few friends this weekend that I'm really craving oatmeal. How weird is that?? ) Right now I feel lighter, more energetic and in charge of this weight loss thing.

And this is where I go downhill. If I didn't have surgery in a few days, I know how I would react. I know where my thoughts go...

"I got this! So this one bowl of Captain Crunch won't hurt!"

"I got this! I'm just going to sneak a few chocolate chip cookies..."

"I got this! This dinner was delicious! I've been so good, I deserve a second (third...) helping!"

And soon I would be back to my old ways. I'd gain the weight back - maybe even more. I'd have to go clothes shopping and that 'light' feeling I have now would be replaced with the self-loathing that I am all too familiar with.

The cycle of madness would never end. Losing the same few pounds, gaining them back, rinse and repeat.

My health depends on me losing more than this tiny amount of weight. Because while 11 pounds gone is great, heart disease doesn't care I've only lost 11 pounds. Sleep apnea doesn't care I've only lost 11 pounds. Diabetes doesn't care that I've only lost 11 pounds. They are all looming in front of me, waiting for me to fail. Waiting for their time to strike.

So I'm taking control. And for the first time ever I can say with confidence - I GOT THIS.