IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

Huh. Well, this isn't what I wanted to see. I'm up 1.6 lbs, but - yet again - I can't say it's a surprise. My lap band may prevent me from overeating most things, but it certainly doesn't prevent me from eating stuff that I know I should limit. And lately I've had loads of sugar. Ice cream slides through the band quite easily.

I'm currently about half-way through getting my degree in Special Education. Today I was writing a paper on classroom management, focusing on self-efficacy and motivation. Self-efficacy refers to the confidence one has in their ability. The more positive self-efficacy one has, the higher their motivation tends to be. Basically, if you believe that you can, you will. 

While writing my paper on ways to increase positive self-efficacy in students, I had a light bulb moment. I don't think I've made it any secret that I don't believe I can lose weight. My belief in my abilities pretty much sucks. If I don't believe I can do it, why should I try?  One of they ways to increase learning in a classroom is to set up challenging opportunities for a student to succeed. Once they believe they can do hard things, they are willing to keep trying. Am I setting myself up for success? 

Uh, no. 

I am horrible about setting myself up for failure. Just last week I started doing the C25K workout - which I love! But I decided to up my game and do Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - which I also love! - on my off days.  

It was exhilarating! 

For about 5 days. 

Then I hurt my back and have not done any type of workout since last Friday. I threw myself into this new workout regime headfirst with the best intentions, but was ultimately setting myself up to fail. My body is not used to that much activity! One day, I will be able to do it. For now, I need to start a bit slower. I need to create challenging opportunities for me to succeed. 

So I'm focusing on the C25K workout. I'll do some strength building on my off days, but Jillian will just have to wait a bit longer for me. 

And finding better alternatives to Dairy Queen. My waistline and wallet will thank me for that!

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

 I'm posting the pics from last week and this week to show two things:

1. I do take a picture every Wednesday.
2. I'm down 1.8 lbs. Yay!

One thing I've learned about myself recently is that I can be an extremely anxious person. (Anyone who has had the pleasure of sitting next to me knows I have that annoying habit of constantly shaking my leg. Part Restless Leg Syndrome, part anxiety!) Lately it has gotten a lot worse and my mind has been a whirlwind of worry and stress. I hate it! I could not figure out what had changed, Why am I suddenly this giant ball of stress? 

I really think it's because before, when I would get anxious or stressed, I would eat. It wasn't a surprise that I used food to self-medicate. I knew that part. I was just surprised at how well it worked! Since I can no longer stuff my face whenever I start to feel anxious, I'm left to just deal with it. And I don't know how to do that. But I'm learning!  

What do you do to de-stress? 

IWTB; I Need Your Help

I have stopped posting my weigh-ins. Have you noticed? I could wax on about how busy I am, etc. etc. and that would be true.

But let's be honest here. It ain't all because I'm busy. (you probably guessed as much!)

The truth is that I'm stuck. I still weigh in every Wednesday. Still take pictures of the scale to document it. But I've been hovering between 205 and 202 for about a month. And I'm frustrated.

Even at the 'high' 205, that still means I've lost 40 pounds - which is amazing! BUT I haven't plateued. There is no big mystery as to why I'm not losing more weight. I haven't been putting the effort in because I'M SCARED.

In the weight loss world, getting under 200 lbs is a big deal. It's often referred to as "onederland". And I have dreamed of meeting this goal for a very long time. I distinctly remember when I first hit over 200 lbs. It was right after my honeymoon almost 12 years ago. What a happy time, right? Get married, have a great vacation, then come back to find you've hit a not-so-great milestone.

At the time, I remember thinking, "I will never be bigger than 210."

And then I was.

"I'll never be bigger than 225."

And then I was.

You see where I'm going with this.

Now that this "onederland" is hovering right in front of me, right within my reach, I'm really scared to get there. I've been trying to put my finger on exactly why. I'm 99% sure it's because I'm so afraid that if I'm successful, it's just delaying the inevitable. I always have in the past. I'm always waiting for that second shoe to drop and for the scale to inch it's way right back up to where it was.

So I've taken some time to really think it through. This time is different. I've taken major steps to make SURE it's different this time. And even if by some chance I DO gain some back....it's still okay. But I can't focus on that. I cannot allow myself to be consumed with the negative 'what ifs' because it completely blocks my view of the amazing things to come.

My weight this morning was 202.8. I do not want to see that number ever again. I'm getting my focus back and working to meet three goals everyday - take 12,000 steps (which can't be done without some kind of focused exercise), drink my 64 oz of water and getting in my 60 grams of protein each day.

This is where you come in. I could really use a cheering section. I can't do this alone! See a motivational saying? Send it to me! Find a protein-rich recipe? Send it to me! Hold me accountable and help me push myself. Thank you. :)

(You can find me on Facebook, Pinterest, or email me at themightybethany @ outlook.com)

IWTB: Weigh In Wednesday

Someday I will write posts about what I eat, how I exercise, how the band has changed me, etc. Today is not that day. :)

I remembered to snap a picture of the scales this morning, but then completely forgot about posting it. Until now! I keep thinking that as my kids get older, I will be less and less busy. But I'm finding the opposite is true. They get older and busier - I get older and busier.

Anyway!

 I'm still hanging in there. Focusing on what I SHOULD eat and not on what I can't. Moving more. Drinking water. And it's working!

Down 2 lbs exactly from last week. A total of 39.3 since before surgery. Feels pretty good!

IWTB: Weigh-In Wednesday

I saw my surgeon last week and he was very happy with my progress. We agreed that my band is at a good level for now and I won't have to see him again for 3 months. WOOHOO! Bring on the cookies!!

I'm joking!! I lost 8 pounds in the month between my last two appointments and there is no reason I can't keep that going. I set the bar a bit higher and am shooting to lose 30 lbs between now and my next appointment at the end of July.

So where do I stand today?? Drum roll please....

I've lost another 1.8 lbs and I have no intentions of finding it again. :)

IWTB: Wednesday Weigh-In

Very slowly, but surely - another .4 pounds gone forever! (Does it drive anyone else nuts that the scale doesn't line up with the lines on our linoleum? I noticed right after I took the picture, but I was not about to step on it again!) 

IWTB: Accountability is Key!

When I first started considering gastric banding, I scoured the internet for information. I read articles, watched YouTube videos and subscribed to tons of blogs. One of the blogs that I love and still follow is Lap Band Gal. (You can find her on Facebook here!) She is a lap band success story, losing 116 lbs and maintaining that loss since 2010! Maintenance is a big thing to me. I can lose the weight, but I needed to see it was possible to keep it off. And Lap Band Gal is a big inspiration to me for that reason. 

One of her secrets for success is accountability. Every Friday, she weighs herself and POSTS THE PICTURE ON FACEBOOK. Whoa. She has almost 2,500 people that see her weight every week! Very brave in my book! And very smart. So I even though I'm not at my goal weight yet, I still want to document the process. I'm going to try and post my scale picture every Wednesday - the day I weigh myself. 

I know you're saying, "But wait Mighty B! It's Thursday!" I KNOW. See, there is this little (ginormous) thing called SHAME. Shame is a powerful bitch.  I wrestled with the idea of posting this all day yesterday. Having people know I weigh this much is a humiliating thought. Am I ashamed that I allowed myself to get to this weight? YES. But you know what? I'm actively doing something about this. And this is the lowest I have weighed in almost ten years. That's a big freaking deal, So I'm owning my story and I'm going to overcome my shame with action, humor, love and honesty. And maybe some puppies and rainbows thrown in too.

Here is my weight as of 4/15/15. I'm down 35.1 lbs from my pre-surgery weight! Yay me!