Delivering Grace

{Delivering Grace was such a completely different experience than having my other two. I had never imagined myself having a ceserean, so I never even looked at any info on it. I'm going to write out my 'birth story' in a few posts so I can record everything I remember and give you an insight as to what it was like. If you aren't interested, I won't be offended. Just skip this post and I promise to write about other things soon. }

The night before, I could not sleep. Anxiety about everything kept my adrenaline flowing. After a few brief hours of sleep, I got up, showered and carefully did my hair and makeup. I already felt like I had very little control over everything that would be happening that day. The one thing I COULD control was how I looked - and I wanted to make sure I looked good.

The ride to the hospital was pretty quiet. We arrived (late - as is typical with us) and checked in. I was really amazed at how fast everything went from that point. We were whisked away to a room where I was told to undress and put on the fancy hospital gown. It didn't dawn on me then that this gown would be the one I wore (at least halfway anyway) during my first major surgery. Once settled into the hospital bed, two very sweet nurses began a flurry of activity around me - asking me questions, starting my IV, hooking me up to monitors. They handed Jeff a set of scrubs, told him they would be back to get him and started wheeling me down the hallway.

I remember laying on the bed, watching the ceiling tiles go by and thinking it was like a scene from "ER" or some other hospital drama. They wheeled me into a very bright, very white room. The anesthesiologist was there and started explaining the spinal to me. I tried to listen to him, but all I could think was "Please let it work. Please let it work." I was terrified of being one of those strange cases that you see on TLC where the anesthesia doesn't work and you feel EVERYTHING. So I sat on the side of the bed, hugging one of the sweet nurses so that my spine would curve just right and prayed. Thankfully the very worst pain of the whole procedure was the numbing shots. A few deep breaths and a couple of pinches later and the spinal was in. Like ninjas, the two nurses swung my legs back on the table at lightening speed and made me lay down. The spinal worked very quickly and within seconds I was paralyzed from the chest down. It was so weird to not be able to wiggle your toes.

The doctor came in and announced they were ready to start. Suddenly, in a room full of people, I felt very alone.