IWTB: Second Fill was the Key!

After staying at the same weight for months, I FINALLY have started losing weight again. What's my "secret" - I got another fill in my lapband! 

A gastric band is different from other weight loss surgeries in that it requires follow up. If I had gone in on October 8th, had the surgery and did NOTHING else, the lapband would not work.

So what is a fill? 

source

A fill is when the surgeon (some offices allow their nurses to do fills, my surgeon does his) injects saline into the port. The saline expands the band, tightening it around the stomach and creating a narrower passage way for the food to travel through. 

My surgeon (Dr. Knapp) does his at the surgery center where I had the procedure done so he can view the whole thing via x-ray. A nurse walks me back to the operating room in my lovely paper gown and I sit on the table, reclined just a bit. Dr. Knapp finds the port with the x-ray machine gives me a quick warning, then sticks the needle through my stomach into my port. (It doesn't feel much different than getting a shot, but it is weird to see a syringe sticking out of my stomach for the next few minutes.) He then removes all of the fluid from my band to make sure it is all still there and has not been leaking. Once he's made sure it is all still there, he injects new saline into my port. 

I take a few swallows of barium (YUM!) to make sure the band isn't too tight, then I'm on my way! It's very quick, easy and pretty painless. 

For two days after a fill, I am on liquids only to allow everything to adjust. Once I start solid foods, I measure out 1/2 cup, take tiny bites, chew like crazy and eat s-l-o-w-l-y. Before my fill, I was still able to down large quantities pretty quickly. With a tighter band, I'm noticing a BIG difference. Now when I eat too fast, eat something with a bread-like texture or take too big of a bite, it gets "stuck". I get a knot in my chest and waves of pain that last a few minutes until my stomach is able to process what I've just tried to eat. If I try to push it and eat another bite too quickly after being stuck it is extremely painful and can result in the food coming back up. (Technically it's not vomiting because the food never reached my stomach. But it's gross nonetheless!) 

If I follow the rules, eat what I'm supposed to how I'm supposed to, it's no problem. I'm being forced to learn a new way to eat - which is exactly why I chose to have gastric banding in the first place. 

It hasn't been easy getting used to the lapband actually doing it's job! But I have a renewed sense of hope that I CAN and WILL actually lose this weight. 

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's Okay to...

Just say, "NO!" source

• Not worry about goody bags for Riley's birthday party. I think I speak for all parents when I say, "Enough with the tiny, plastic crap already!" It's my son's birthday...why should everyone else get a gift?
• (On that same note) be annoyed when people bring gifts for my other kids when they attend birthday parties. 99% of the time it's the grandparents, and I know that's just what they do - spoil the grandkids! But I think it takes from the birthday child's day being special.
• really enjoy Barbie movies. So far Princess Charm School is my favorite, but A Pony Tale is pretty good too. (I'm totally serious! Don't judge!)
• Be hoping for a snow day tomorrow. It's a far-fetched hope, but right now the pain of having my kids home all day sounds better than having to put on actual pants in the morning. I just can't even. 

Check out Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay!!

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's Okay to...

• be thankful Christmas is over. But ready to plan for next year. 
• to have taken all of the Christmas decorations down. We still have our main tree up, I promised the kids we would wait until New Year's Eve to take it down. But I'm ready to get the house back in order! 

• be glad the kids are still on Christmas break. But that may be because they are all still asleep. My answer may change later this afternoon. 
• have some serious goals for 2015. What do you have planned for the next year?

Check out Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay!

IWTB: 9 Weeks Later

9 weeks have passed since I had lap band surgery. I've been quiet on this blog for the past few weeks because it doesn't seem like much has changed. But thinking about it, a LOT has changed from this time last year. It just goes to show that weight loss success requires mental changes as well as physical.

My current weight loss is about 28 lbs. I fluctuate between 217-220 lbs (My highest weight was 245.7 pre-surgery) and have been "stuck" here for about 6 weeks. It honestly has been one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced. I will wholeheartedly admit that I expected this to be so much easier. I have been told time and time again from those who have been through this that it is NOT the easy way out, the band is a tool and you still have to do your part to lose the weight. I wanted them all to be wrong! 

I, like a gazillion other women in this world, wanted to lose lots of weight really quickly without much effort from me. I'm coming to the realization that it will never happen that way. If I'm going to be successful, I can't rely on anyone - or anything - except myself. Maybe that's common sense to some of you, but this chubby chick has been in deep denial for many years. It takes me a little longer to pick up on these sort of things. 

So my weight hasn't moved a whole lot, (even though almost 30 lbs in 9 weeks is pretty darn impressive) but what has changed? The way I think about food. I'm not completely reformed yet, but I find myself being more careful about what I choose to eat. I'm also eating less. Multiple servings of dinner was always a given for me. Every night I would eat until I was Thanksgiving-full. Now I have one serving and I'm good. 

Another thing that has changed? I haven't gained weight. I consider those 28 lbs gone forever. A few years ago, I worked really hard, watched what I ate, exercised regularly, and lost 17 lbs over a 4 month period. Christmas rolled around and I decided to loosen the reins a bit and gained every single pound back. Plus more. That was my rock bottom. I had worked so hard to lose that tiny amount only to gain it back in no time. I felt so helpless and hopeless. I may be frustrated with my stalled weight loss, but I am not hopeless. I know what I need to do and I will be successful this time.

This is not a sprint, it's a marathon. I'm not just losing weight, I'm developing habits that will keep that weight off. Stick around for the ride, won't you?

Hey! It's Okay Tuesday!

It's okay to...

• legitimately love "ugly" sweaters. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's not Christmas unless someone is wearing a reindeer appliqued sweater. 
• learn from last year's mistake of thinking I had to bring 72 homemade frosted sugar cookies to the elementary school for Christmas parties. This year I volunteered to bring plates. Someone else can make themselves crazy making perfect homemade treats.
• be SO GLAD Playing House is getting a second season. That show is so funny. Get ready Jammers! 
• to have really enjoyed the Grumpy Cat Christmas movie. I'm a big Grumpy Cat fan as it is, but I thought it was really funny! 

Head over to Airing My Dirty Laundry to see what else is okay! 

IWTB: What Do I Do Now?

A silly "before" pic the morning of surgery.

Last Tuesday I started to really feel better. It was a complete 180 from how I was feeling over the weekend and I was so relieved. I'm doing a better job of judging how much I can drink at one time, so I rarely get the hiccups and  - aside from a slight issue this morning when I drank too much at once - I haven't been throwing up.

I'm still technically on a full liquid diet until Wednesday. I don't get physically hungry, but man, do I miss eating! It was/is my favorite thing to do and now I'm having to find other things to occupy my time. I tried sewing Brenna an Elsa costume, but discovered I'm better about thinking about sewing than I am actually sewing. So I'm searching out different hobbies and I'm open to suggestions!

I also have permission to start exercising again and I'm looking forward to starting the C25K program again.

What other hobbies or activities should I try?

Officially With the Band

Since this was an outpatient procedure, I expected to bounce back right away. I'd have my lifting restrictions, have to eat in phases, but essentially be myself. That has not been the case. I'm extremely tired and very irritable - I've cursed more than a sailor these last few days. I'm so thirsty, but drinking more than an ounce of water at a time makes my chest hurt and gives me painful hiccups, sometimes even vomiting.

I was supposed to be able to start my 'full liquids' diet yesterday, but instead was hospitalized for a few hours to get fluids and steroids to help reduce my swellling. 

I did a barium swallow to make sure fluid could go through my band. Now I'm having stomach issues, which is so weird since I haven't had anything except clear liquids for a week.

I've been told that I'll start to get back to myself in a few days. And I pray that is true. I did so much research and was sure this was the right choice for me. Now I feel like it's the worst decision I have ever made.

Recording these feelings mostly for me. So I can hopefully look back and see how far I've come. It's a rough road so far. Not asking for pity, just patience with me. 😊